Regrets
by Meredith McGarrett
Summary: Based on: Season 4: Episode 13 - Hana Lokomaika'i "Malia knew how I felt about her brother. If she was in contact with him she would have been clever not to tell me about it."


**Regrets**

 ** _Based on: Season 4: Episode 13 -_ Hana Lokomaika'i**

* * *

 _"What the hell happened?" Chin asked, breathing heavily as he came running down the hallway.  
_

 _He immediately spotted John McGarrett and Malia standinf there, worried looks on both of their faces. "I spoke to first-on-scene. They said it was an apparent convenience store robbery. Your dad, uh, was off duty when he confronted the gunman._

 _Did we get anything from the store owner?" Chin asked, pressing for information, for as much information as he could get.  
_

 _Not much, he was on the ground when it all went down but it looks like the perp shot your dad in cold blood." Chin couldn't believe it, how could this happen? His was just went to the convenience store to buy food and he ends of getting shot. What was wrong with the world? Later, years later he would find out the he knew the shooter, that he was married to the shooter's sister. But he didn't knew that at the time.  
_

 _"Kam Tong Kelly is the toughest man I know. He is gonna pull through." His senior partner John McGarrett tried to support him. Malia was there too, she had a shocked expression on her face. Of course she was shocked. Her boyfriend's father was being treated here for a gunshot injury to his vital organs. "I need to see him." With that he left toward the room his father was being treated in and barged in. But it was too late. He came through the door as a flatline sounded on the cardiac monitor and the doctor working on him was shutting off the machines. "No." His mind screamed.  
_

 _This couldn't end this way ... no way, it just couldn't._

 _But there was a flatline, a shrill sound making his ears bleed._

 _Asystole._

 _His father was dead._

 _He knew it. In that moment, he knew it._

 _His breath hitched and suddenly it was hard to breathe. His chest constricted and for a moment, everything went fuzzy. But soon he had his emotions back under control. This couldn't be true though. But the monitor and the disconnected leads were speaking for itself. That there was no hope left, that he was indeed dead.  
_

 _"We did everything we could. We're sorry for your loss." The doctor offered his apologies after calling time of death._

 _"Can I have a moment with him?"_

* * *

 _"Can I talk to you outside?" Malia asked, an urgent expression covering her face._

 _Chin looked over to John before nodding. He wanted to pay the bill but John was already taking care of it. "I hate coming to you with this, especially now." Malia said as she and Chin were outside of the café where Chin had been eating breakfast with his colleague and superior Lieutenant John McGarrett, Steve's father. "But you know my brother. He is a good kid." "What did he do?" Chin asked, frowning. Apparently, her brother had been arrested for something. "They say he stole a car." Malia sighed, her nerves have been laying on blank ice ever since she got that call from the Honolulu Police Department._

 _H.P.D. had called her. And now she was asking him for help._

 _"H.P.D. brought him in an hour ago but they haven't processed him yet. I just spoke to Gabriel and he sounds really scared." "I bet he is." Chin's reaction came immediately. "If they book Gabriel the record's going to follow him the rest of his life." Malia tried to convince him to help her brother. "I … I'll see what I can do."_

* * *

When he fled the room, his friends were there and waiting for him, telling him that this was what they did to try to get under his skin and hell, it worked. "Try to take out the personal." Steve told him calmly. He was always calm and collected in those situations. It was just in his nature. "How the hell am I supposed not to make this personal? There is no way not to make this personal." "Chin, stop. This is the game. They put you to the test, all you gotta do is answer their questions." Steve tried calming him down. They were all there for Chin his unfortunate position. Once again he was being interrogated by Internal Affairs. "And you're gonna pass that test but you gotta answer the questions and you should answer them straight, take out all the emotion, okay." Chin sighed.

Kono felt for her cousin but she was positive that he would do this.

"What if I was wrong?" Chin suddenly asked. Kono responded first. "What are you talking about?" "I was in love with Malia. Maybe my judgment was clouded. Maybe I just didn't want to believe that her brother was capable of murder."

* * *

They accused him of covering up what Gabriel did because everything they've heard about their special unit, family comes first. But he never covered for Gabriel.

He broke off contact to him years ago …

 _You got a history of covering for family members who break the law. Your uncle stole drug money from a police evidence locker, and you kept it quiet for years._

 _I don't see how that's relevant._

 _It's seems like a pattern and that's more than relevant. This is exactly the reason why we're here today, to find out what you knew and when you knew it and if there was a cover-up._

 _Gabriel had never been in trouble before. I figured if I could just set him straight, he wouldn't do anything like this ever again._

 _Guess you figured wrong._

"Chin, Chin, wait for me." Kono exclaimed loudly.

Chin turned around for a second. "I can't, coz. I just can't. I … I need some time to myself. "Kono watched Chin leaving the building without looking back. She was worried about her cousin. She turned around to Danny and Steve who were watching the same thing as well. "We need to do something about this." She suddenly said, "I have a bad feeling about leaving him alone after what just happened." "But what can we do?" Danny asked, totally clueless. "What can we do for him in this current situation? I mean it is understandable that it brings back memories for him…" "Of course it does." Kono snapped slightly. "Hey, calm down, Kono." He replied as he saw her reaction. "We all know that." "I'm sorry, Danny." Kono quickly apologized.

"It's no problem." Danny said, not wanting to make a big thing out of it.

 _Something like this might be cartel-related. Drugs, money, murder for hire. Whoever this ordered, is a major player in that world._

 _And were you able to ascertain this so-called "major player"?_

 _The major player was the Culiacan-Cartel out of Sinaloa in Mexico. And he knew the boss. He knew that the second he saw the picture the DEA sent them._

They were able to identify the so-called major player and it turned out that Chin knew the cartel boss. Kono knew him as well. It was Malia's brother and he arrived on the island a few days ago. He still heard the voice of the man who had been interrogating him. They had been testing him, hard. Everything they had asked him was now constantly in his head. He gripped onto the wheel tightly. How could he have known that Malia's brother was such a cruel, useless, killing monster – that's what he is, what he became. And now they were blaming him because he did Malia a favor.

Everything comes now crawling back to him, piece for piece and it was horrible. Overwhelming …

 _Also for the record, would you state your relationship with Mr. Waincroft?_

 _He's my brother-in-law._

Chin got into his car and drove. He drove until he reached Waikiki Beach. Only a few people were there, considering it was late evening and all. But he found a spot where it was just him alone. He stood there, looking onto the water.

A few locals were still on the water with their boards although there weren't any good waves.

The water was relatively calm today.

He had so many memories there, with Malia, partly.

He didn't seem to register that it was late evening and the sun had started disappeared beyond the horizon. The sunset painted soft and warm colors like orange and yellow on the sky. The water was calm and some small waves hit the beach. Chin was oblivious to the scenery next to him. He didn't care about how blue the water was or how the sky looked. It was not important for him right now. Chin Ho Kelly was standing there, lost in thoughts about his father and his murderer's connection to Malia. Her brother had murdered his father, for what? He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, is what Gabriel told him when he booked him.

He remembered Steve had been gazing at him, watched everything that has happened.

The money. But he never wanted to take it nor did he take it. He was a good cop. Even if he had been interrogated twice by Internal Affairs... But he never knew what Gabriel was up to the whole time. He didn't know that when he took that so-called job on the mainland it had something to do with drug-dealing.

Maybe he should have things different. But what use is it to keep thinking about something that is done and there is no way to change that, ever.

His father was dead.

Malia was dead as well.

He catched him thinking that it would be better if Gabriel had died instead of Malia who wasn't a criminal. He still couldn't believe it. This interrogation by IA had been hell. He was glad that he was now alone. He wanted to be left alone.

 _"I haven't seen, heard of or thought about Gabriel Waincroft until five days ago – for the damn record." Chin looked right into the camera when he said this. And he meant this. "Duly noted. Continuing on." The IA cop said, chuckling lightly._

 _"Now I want you to think very carefully before you answer this question." The man asked. Chin replied with: "It doesn't matter what I thought at that point." But the officer was very persuasive and adamant about it. "You thought Gabriel Waincroft killed your father?! Answer me." The voice was harsh and unfriendly, pressing him for an answer. He had no choice but to answer the question.  
_

 _"Yes." Chin answered._

And that's how the Gabriel Waincroft-thing turned into something way bigger than a one-time thing.

But they didn't know that then. If Chin had known at this point that it was Gabriel who had pulled the trigger he'd done what he did. But he never knew what Gabriel was capable of doing. Chin Ho Kelly still remembered the false grimace on the face of IA cop. Even though his friends' reassuring words hadn't really helped to keep his emotions in place... Now he was standing there, on the beach of Waikiki, Honolulu. Alone.

Steve was meeting with the IA cops about him. He'll probably loose his badge again.

Right now, he was dark and very pessimistic.

Gabriel Waincroft has ruined his entire life, by killing his father and with that having an impact on his career as a cop... That was all he was good for. Good for.

He was for nothing good.

He was a drug-dealing, murderous thug, boss of a Mexican cartel.

Then he thought about how he met Malia Waincroft. It was on the beach. He still remembered it so clearly as if it was yesterday it happened. Chin walked alongside the water, staring out of the ocean and stopped near the water. He left footprints in the wet sand and stared into nowhere. The sun was already gone. The water was blue. The ocean had always calmed him down and so did it this time...

* * *

 _It was a warm and sunny day. It was Chin's day off and he decided to spend it on one of Honolulu's finest beaches: Waikiki Beach. He was there with his cousin Kono who was out there, surfing. She was a total pro at it. He loved watching her surf. His father does too. She has won a lot of surf contests in the past. But that wasn't the point. Chin was walking alongside the beach, feeling the sand under his toes and he was enjoying the warm and sunny day. It was a perfect day. He heard children laughing, some of them were trying how to learn to surf. He smiled warmly. This was island life for him. Hawai'i was the perfect home for him. It has everything._

 _Good food, great nature, culture ... but also criminals that need to be catched and he devotes his life to catching them for the safety of the Aloha state Hawaii. It was what he was destined to do._

 _There was a surfboard that was washed ashore, right where Chin Ho was standing. He was barefoot and and only had his surfing gear on. At this point and time, he was still in the academy. He wanted to become a police officer. He walked into warm water and picked the yellow board up. Soon he heard someone calling: "Sorry, that's mine." A light and perky voice called. So Chin looked up and into the face of a young, beautiful woman. His breath caught as he looked at her._

 _The woman left the water, walking toward Chin._

 _"I'm Malia." She told him as she gazed at him, continuing to smile at him._

 _"I'm Chin Ho Kelly."_

 _Chin couldn't believe that she told him her name just like that. "So what do you, Chin Ho Kelly?" She asked, her hair dripping wet. She was wearing a colorful bikini. "I'm a cop." Chin told her. "I'm gonna be a cop. I'm in the academy."_

 _"I'll bet you will look really cute in uniform." Both chuckled._

 _There was a comfortable silence for a moment. Then Malia asked sweetly if she could have her board back now. "Can I have my board back now?" Chin seemed to think about something. He wanted to meet her again. "Not unless you let me take you for dinner." He finally answered. But Malia just shrugged, her eyes sparkled in the sun.  
_

 _"You can keep it. I'm sure I'll see you around." With that, Malia left._

* * *

Suddenly he became aware of someone's presence. The sun has almost disappeared behind the horizon, painting strong colors on the sky. But it slowly became darker and darker. Also, it was more windy than before. He noticed that now. Kono was standing there, a few meters behind him. Out of respect, she didn't say anything until he noticed her. She knew he was thinking about Malia. And how unfair it was that her brother was responsible for his father's death.

"Kono." He exclaimed as he saw his cousin standing there. "What are you doing here? Has McGarrett sent you here?"

"I came here on my own, nobody's sent me, Chin. It's just you and me and the Pacific Ocean if you wanna talk. I mean this whole thing was pretty intense. It was intense for me so I can't even imagine how intense it must have been for you."

"It's okay!" It was not okay. And Chin Ho knew that it was not okay.

"Chin." Kono's brown eyes were looking at him.

"Are you okay?"

The water was light blue, Chin was intently staring at it, hoping he could avoid Kono's questions.

"Yeah." He replied absentmindedly.

That was a lie.

He wasn't okay. "I know you're lying, coz. I can read you like a book." Kono knew immediately that he wasn't telling the truth about how he felt. "Yeah, we practically grew up together."

Both of them were silent for a moment.

Then Kono asked: "Do you want a hug?" Chin actually smiled for a moment before saying 'yes, please'. Kono put her arms around him and was just there for him when he needed it the most. After awhile she let go of him. "You ready to come home?" Kono asked. Chin nodded wordlessly as Kono led him to the car.

* * *

 **A/N: I just discovered Hawaii Five-0 and I immediately liked it, especially Kono and Chin's relationship. Even though they are cousins, I think they grew up like siblings. Anyways, I like them... Hope you review.**


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